Unencumbered Ambiguity; The True Tale of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Miss Snow White

Kensington Gardens

Kensington, London W23

United Kingdom 020 7298 2000

Dear Snow,

I write to send word of home, as contact has ceased for over two months’ time. We continue with the usual sunrise-to-sunset working habits custom to the gleaning season here at the mill. We work in hopes that we may relieve the anxiety that once beset dear father concerning the welfare of his children, by coming into an opportunity as good as you have come upon.

Baby Maggie has not yet accomplished the task of walking, but has enough energy and strength within her arms to compensate for the incompetency of her legs. Ben and John have been helping with the woodcutting, and Beth is learning how to read and devours our little library quicker than any of us did.

Dearest twin sister, your other siblings and I thank the Lord for the generous hands of father’s second wife, Lady Darforre, in which you have been placed. We await word from you.

With all our love,

Sunny White

4 Wellgarth Rd

London NW11 7HR,

United Kingdom

+44 20 8458 7196

Sunny,

While I own that the circumstances within which I have been bestowed are due to the good graciousness of God, it seems that trial must be attached to such a blessing. Lady Darforre has taken to treating me with the intolerance deserving of a slave. I do believe she despises me rather intensely.

She has, in the sly name of generosity, consented to take me in for reasons beyond mere goodness. I feel that she wants me close by, in order to keep those with whom she feels most threatened near her, as she endeavors to command upon such victims her full power (only attained, I might add, by a most advantageous union of marriage). 

She has an obsession with her mirror. Each morning, she speaks to it in a thick French accent, asking, “Who is the fairest of the land?”. I believe that she fears my flawless and youthful beauty {something I assure you she can never hope to acquire again, if ever she possessed it} will surpass her own, so she has given me only rags to wear and forces me to work as a scullery maid. 

How I wish, now, that you had been the first of us that Lady Darforre had seen in the streets of London, and it was you who had been offered a position in her household. Wicked, wicked stepmother. Oh, the things I endure. Please come and rescue me.

The princess,

Miss Snow White

Kensington Gardens

Kensington, London W23

United Kingdom 020 7298 2000

Snow,

You really must stop addressing yourself as princess. While we, your siblings, may bear the result of a sister spoiled by her father, those with which you reside may not fully understand or have patience with your insistence upon such a title. Besides, think of the ramifications that would follow if this letter was intercepted and fell into the hands of royalty? You know the law.

As for the rags, we have told you time and time again, we simply cannot afford to spend two fortnights' work and the starvation of three of your siblings in order for you to have a fine blue and yellow silk dress, especially when you think yourself above the work we do each day. Please understand that there are simply some things more important than strutting yourself across town.

Snow, I understand that you have little experience with persons of a different tongue, but we all had a good laugh when we read about your depiction of the good Lady Darforre as a cruel woman who speaks to mirrors and is threatened by your “stunning beauty”.

Firstly, there couldn't possibly be any competition between an upper-class duchess such as her and a child of a farmer, whom she has kindly chosen to benefit. You were sent to work for her, so she couldn't possibly have made you any lower than you were when you arrived.

Secondly, I believe your contempt towards the possible unworthiness of Lady Darforre’s present station as Duchess is entirely out of order. Father’s death was as astonishing a blow for her, as his present wife, as for us. As she had come into our household just weeks before such a disruption, we must remain conscientious of her need to move on, as we all must. We must remain aware of her continued goodness to us.

Furthermore, Lady Darforre’s French accent is not that difficult to comrehend! The man she recently married is a landowner. I’ve been in their house before. Every morning, as she is getting ready in front of the mirror, she asks him, “Wit ze fareeze on ze land?”, to which he responds with the action plan he has devised to combat the seasonal freeze upon his land. As a woman tirelessly devoted to the bringing up of young ladies of the lower class such as yourself, I hardly think she cares in the slightest who is the “fairest of the land”. Your over-active imagination has once again gotten the better of you.

Also, I must speak of a matter of great importance, a matter I’ve been meaning to tell you for some time now. I met the most charming gentleman, Derek Knightly. We have had long discussions by the fireplace after the children have fallen asleep over the course of a few months. I do believe he and I are quite compatible.

We are to be wed. I love him, sister. I hope you wish me well, for in him I have found much happiness. We have plans to meet in town this week, so I may be able to visit, if I have time after I have seen him.

Yours,

Sunny White

4 Wellgarth Rd

London NW11 7HR,

United Kingdom

+44 20 8458 7196

Sunny,

Such news of a marriage arrangement comes as a shock to me. As your twin, I insist that I meet him before you make such a decision, and that you take me away from here before you run away with him (if such is your plan). They make me work here more than ever before.

I fear I am in a most awful disposition this afternoon, as Lady Darforre took to divulging upon me her entire life story for a horrid four hours after our music lesson. I hardly understood half of it, with the atrocious slurs and rolling hisses most treacherously applied to what I assume was (her attempt of) the English language. I sat there with my needlework, in feigned interest, as she reminisced about her gawky childhood years along the coast of southern France, her dangerous elopement with an English merchant (did I ask to hear all the gory details of her love affair with father – especially concerning his escapades in France after our mother’s death?), ending with her deranged idea of moving on by marrying the count. She even had the nerve of mentioning (as if she were Anne Boleyn herself) her regard for the large sum of money she acquired in such an advantageous marriage to the count, feigning it to be nothing more than a means of charity to the less fortunate. By the end such an afternoon, the pinpricks in my fingers weren’t the only effects of a most painful afternoon.

Miss Snow White

Kensington Gardens

Kensington, London W23

United Kingdom 020 7298 2000

Snow,

Oh, sister. If perceivably dull conversation and pinpricks are the worst of your “hardships”, I do envy you so. Beth saw you with Lady Darforre at the market the other day, and was quite taken aback by the kindly manner in which she conversed with you. Please don’t let go of such a great opportunity. As most opportunities are only available through labor and hard work, you can only expect that there will be obligations attached.

As you did little work on the farm, it is good for you to be exposed to the character-enhancement that honest work lends. The very intent of Lady Darforre’s taking you in being a refinement of character (and hopes of an acquired sensibility that you lack entirely), I advise you, with the best of intentions, to be mindful of the goodness in whose hands you have been fortunately placed.

Regards,

Sunny White

4 Wellgarth Rd

London NW11 7HR,

United Kingdom

+44 20 8458 7196

Sunny,

I will be saved! I met a man, named Erick, who I know will rescue me from the cruel jealousy of the "queen" {as she basically believes herself to be}. Even though I had never, at this point, seen him, he expressed his undying love to me at the well this morning. It was so romantic! I, of course, became immediately aware of the shabbiness of my clothing and hid myself. He called after me, calling me Sun (did you forget, once again, to divulge the fact that you have a twin?). I hope he will come back to save me from the terrible confinement in which I have found myself.

I am aware that you do not wish me to leave this wretched place, as you deem it to be an opportunity of future security, but you must see my dilemma. I belong in an even higher position than servitude to a woman of such arrogance and jealousy, but I will be ever patient.

I leave today to assist the butcher with his weekly trip to a nearby farm. As I am faint of heart, I don't know why the other servants insisted on making me join him. They say I don't do enough work in the kitchen and might be more useful with him, but I can assure you that is highly unlikely, as the sight of a knife irks me.

I wish you well with your work. Send baby Maggie my love.

Miss Snow White

Kensington Gardens

Kensington, London W23

United Kingdom 020 7298 2000

Snow,

Why on earth would you contrive to "escape" from a most generous Lady, who has bestowed upon you perhaps the only opportunity you will have for financial security? Unfortunately, not even you, Snow, are exempt from the social system in which we all work to survive. Sometimes this demands humble submission to those above you, in order to obtain their favor. As you refuse to work here on the farm, I fear your position will be far worse than your current state.

Do not despair, sister.

Miss Snow White

Kensington Gardens

Kensington, London W23

United Kingdom 020 7298 2000

Snow,

I understand the grounds of your opposition to my last response. Forgive me for my blunt manner of speaking. I truly want only the best for you in such a delicate and defining situation. Sister, please don’t be stubborn. Write back! It has been an entire month. We are anxious to hear word from you in London.

Always,

Miss Snow White

Kensington Gardens

Kensington, London W23

United Kingdom 020 7298 2000

Snow,

Lady Darforre has related to us your state of absence at the Darforre household. She has sent the finest of London’s police force in search of you. As our only carriage has been sold for want of greater necessities, I am unable to join this search party, thus, if you do receive this, write back in great haste to alleviate our concerns and intense worry.

London Bridge

34 Long Lane, London

United Kingdom W1W2156

Sunny,

You would hardly believe what I have endured.

I did go with the butcher to the market after all. As I was taken to the wildflowers for sale along the market street, he harshly ordered me to his side to help. As I had told him I couldn’t stand the sight of blood, he lifted the knife in a gesture that induced such fear as I have never before experienced. I ran. I ran as far and as fast as I could away from the market and into the treacherously deep forest. The trees pulled at me. I will swear to this day that they were alive. Eyes followed my every move and creatures moved beneath me when I screamed. After about an hour’s time, I was weak, I was starving and I was cold.

I found a little cottage that seemed so inviting, and I walked in. With the help of many forest animals (you never believe me, but they really are great company), I cooked and cleaned for the residents, and await their arrival as I write you.

Regards,

Miss Snow White

Kensington Gardens

Kensington, London W23

United Kingdom 020 7298 2000

Snow,

As I read this letter to the family, we all hovered in fear and concern, until you went off about a forest. Sister, the English countryside within which we reside doesn’t have but three trees in a clump for a span of thirty miles in every direction, much less a “treacherously deep” forest. As I assume you are in the heart of London, I can scarcely imagine what you are talking about. Please try to give us an accurate description of your whereabouts and what brought you to wherever you are.

On one note, I must congratulate you. You cooked a meal?! Perhaps your character has, in fact, seen some refinement after all.

Sister, we would not like to pose upon the residents of the unnamed cottage any burden of inconvenience. I have relayed word of our communication with you to Lady Darforre as I hope they will find and take you back, we being unable to travel to the address from which this letter arrived. Please return, if you are able, to the Lady at once.

Still your sister,

London Bridge

34 Long Lane, London

United Kingdom W1W2156

Sunny,

I admit, the cottage was actually already clean and I didn’t really cook anything, but I ate what they cooked. The residents returned. Seven dwarves live here! I have given them names:

They could all be labeled as such, but the first dwarf I met exemplifies to an extreme the name I prescribed upon him: Grumpy. He finds great pleasure in taking advantage of my gullible nature with his dry sarcasm. Cynicism is the language he speaks – more potently in front of me than when I catch him unaware of my presence in the room. He was the only one who believed me when I said the animals could clean, saying “I’d believe a bunch of squirrels cleaned this place over your cleaning it.” I still don’t understand why the other dwarves laughed.

Sneezy is a strange man. Either he detests my company, or he is highly allergic to something I carry upon my person, for he insists, whenever I am near him, that the allergies are too much to handle. I have hardly said but three words to him, and thus am unable to give you a full account of his character.

Dopey is boring. He sits in the corner with book in hand amid our jovialities. I do fear he doesn’t get half of the jokes we utter, for he doesn’t find them funny in the least. He never joins in our laughter at watching people fall in the mud in front of the cottage, and he wears the dirtiest, blackest of clothes. His lack of personal hygiene reveals, to me, a lack of maturity and intellect.

Now Happy is a frightful creature. I’m not quite sure if he’s always on a natural high. He always comes home drunk and unable to walk in a straight line or speak two solid words in one sentence. But he always has a grand smile on his face. He’s constantly muttering things and laughing as if there’s something funny in the most mundane of circumstances.

Bashful, on the other hand, always gets red in the face when I call him dwarf. I think he gets nervous around me, as he takes off his hat, twists it and stamps on it in such an endearing way.

Sleepy is well named. No matter what he’s doing, he instantly falls asleep. The other day, when he was chopping wood, I approached him and began talking to him. His axe was just about in midair when he fell to a position that looked most uncomfortable and began instantly snoring. As I could no longer continue my account of a horrid stepmother, I left. Minutes later, I saw him pick his axe up again almost instantaneously, and continue chopping. How curious.

Now I like Doc. He’s the gentleman who let me stay. He’s a leader of sorts and a most generous man, who convinced the other six dwarves that they should let me stay. I just know that they will start to like me soon enough as soon as they get used to my living with them and understand the meagerness of my position; they cannot deny me the use of their beds to sleep on and my requests of well-cooked meals (which they don’t seem to be able to make), until my prince finds and rescues me. I will continue writing you, as I have, at the moment, no intention of leaving. I beg you not to send me to a woman you refuse to see intends to ruin me.

Your brave sister, 

Miss Snow White

Kensington Gardens

Kensington, London W23

United Kingdom 020 7298 2000

Snow,

Sister, you are ever so stubborn. We are in the way of making arrangements to send someone to retrieve you. You must return. Mrs. Darforre is away on business, or she would be at your doorstep within a fortnight. 

This situation is entirely out of conduct. If the seven men with whom you reside are good men, I fear your staying with them is of the worst of impositions. Might I also remind you that if these ‘dwarves’ of whom you speak are similar to the miners we met in Yorkshire, you mustn’t use such a term. Have you forgotten how offended he was by such a title as ‘dwarf’? They don’t really like it when you look down upon them as disabled. You just might have a bruise on your left leg to balance the first kick you got on your right leg. Bashful’s red face might not be as endearing as you assume.

If, by a worse circumstance (which I would not find surprising you haven’t been aware of recognizing), these seven men are of a malicious nature, your staying with them might result in a most awful trial of your virtue. I apologize for the boldness of my words, but bold I must be.

As I am too tied up with working the mill, I have sent one of the workers who has a carriage at hand to find you. She will be bringing you some food and help returning you to town, or home. I hope that you accept her kindness.

Yours,

London Bridge

34 Long Lane, London

United Kingdom W1W2156

Sunny,

The wicked queen has returned in the form of an ugly old woman. She has tricked me into eating poisonous produce! As I was eating an apple she handed me, it got caught in my throat. The wretch started hitting me on the back with such force, I do believe she was trying to murder me. It wouldn’t be the first time.

I am weakening as I inscribe these very words…please, come quickly. I send this letter in the hands of Dopey. He will take you to the eastern side of the London Bridge on Piccadilly Square, where I am.

Miss Snow White

Kensington Gardens

Kensington, London W23

United Kingdom 020 7298 2000

Snow,

The children, myself and Derek, my fiancé, are pursuing your whereabouts in great haste. Please send word of your wellness, if you receive this letter.

London Bridge

34 Long Lane, London

United Kingdom W1W2156

Sunny,

Stay where you are. I am on my way to you.

I live still. The women whom I thought was the disguised queen was actually the old woman you sent. She journeys back with us. Also, the man I met - the man I hoped would rescue me and perhaps, maybe, possibly, presumably was madly in love with me – did find me. There was no need, however, for him to kiss me, as he was (he would later tell me) Derek, your beloved. He did awake me with an unromantically cold splash of water, and he held the reigns as we rode off into the sunset….on his way to his real love – you.

My hopes in his return to me were without reason, as he had mistaken me for you when he met me at the well that early morning, and I had misheard him, thinking his name was Erick.

Perhaps I will employ less drama next time. Is it possible that Lady Darforre would remain as kind in her offering to take me in? I do miss our music lessons together.

Always your sister,

© 2010 by Rachel Lowry. All rights reserved. (photo by fotoblur)